Monday, February 28, 2011

Dear diary:

A setback?

I have begun over the past week to experience some rib pain in my right side once again.

It's not excruciating, like it was last March, April, and May. It has not affected my activities, or my sleep. It's not even worth taking pain killers for it.

But inevitably, concerns begin to arise. Am I suffering a setback in my recovery from multiple myeloma? Are my bone lesions and blood and marrow cancer returning? Or have I just been too active, trying to get chores done? Have I unconsciously slept in an uncomfortable position, or simply moved wrong? One sometimes hears people with bad backs say this. Could it be true in my case as well?

All the emotions and worries of last spring and summer begin to come back to me. I toughed it out well then, at least I think I did. Will I have to do that a second time? How often can one be beaten down and still come back? Do I have enough fuel left in my gas tank to make this trip again, if needed?

The good news is that I should not have to wait long to find out. It so happens that I have an oncologist consultation already scheduled for this coming Friday, plus an IV infusion of meds that includes Aredia, the bone-building compound. I won't have to wait long to get answers to my questions and be treated for problems. What's more, I have a second appointment with my stem cell oncologist the following Wednesday, where I'll have the opportunity for the same.

Good timing.

And there's other favorable news. Today is the last day of February. With March always comes hope for better weather and a brighter day. Even if a bad storm happens to pass through, its effects are quickly dissipated.

With that realization, my spirits are already lifted.